whoever the story needs me to be (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fullupwithfire) wrote2019-08-28 01:48 pm
fullupwithfire) wrote2019-08-28 01:48 pm
Come, let the darkness die
So. The overall month has continued to be not-great, but it's not... unmanageably terrible, either. I'm still twitchy over work stuff when I think about it, but the next evaluation comes in the next 2-3 days, and I can't do anything til I know where I stand then.
Anyway, distractions have been plentiful the last couple of days, and I haven't necessarily looked for them but I'm not... exactly complaining, either. First, a game I've been waiting for got released -- Telling Lies, by the same guy who did Her Story, which is a quiet obsession of mine -- and while I can't get it until there's some kind of sale, I am quietly reading reviews and being excited. Then I got super wrapped up in a mind-bending movie we rewatched the other day (Coherence, if anyone feels like gleeing and searching for information with me).
Then the people who do Sorting Hat Chats finally came out with a quiz for their system and that has eaten my last... 24 hours or so. I did it two or three times, and then the lovely and patient Bast not only did it as well, but let me ramble about sorting a bunch of our original characters at them this morning.
It's been fun and as much as I keep trying to do other things I keep getting pulled back into thinking about it so... that's where I am now, yep. This is not quite a meme/discussion/whatever thing but if you want to discuss SHC sortings -- whether yours and/or mine, or character sortings -- or hear me ramble about any character/fandom, feel free to ask, because I think I may be on this for a while.
♥ to all.
Anyway, distractions have been plentiful the last couple of days, and I haven't necessarily looked for them but I'm not... exactly complaining, either. First, a game I've been waiting for got released -- Telling Lies, by the same guy who did Her Story, which is a quiet obsession of mine -- and while I can't get it until there's some kind of sale, I am quietly reading reviews and being excited. Then I got super wrapped up in a mind-bending movie we rewatched the other day (Coherence, if anyone feels like gleeing and searching for information with me).
Then the people who do Sorting Hat Chats finally came out with a quiz for their system and that has eaten my last... 24 hours or so. I did it two or three times, and then the lovely and patient Bast not only did it as well, but let me ramble about sorting a bunch of our original characters at them this morning.
It's been fun and as much as I keep trying to do other things I keep getting pulled back into thinking about it so... that's where I am now, yep. This is not quite a meme/discussion/whatever thing but if you want to discuss SHC sortings -- whether yours and/or mine, or character sortings -- or hear me ramble about any character/fandom, feel free to ask, because I think I may be on this for a while.
♥ to all.
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it sorted me into sytherin primary (hufflepuff model)/hufflepuff secondary (ravenclaw model), which I find very funny mostly because everyone's always 'what, aren't you a gryffindor?' and I'm always like '...no, not really; I'm just stubborn and actually have faith in people a lot of the time? that I present extraverted doesn't mean either that I am or that I'm gryffindor?'.
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[a note from the end: WOW this turned out long and rambly, sorry. XD]
Okay so here's my funny story: I bounced back and forth in proper!HP sortings between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff for years. I sincerely finally landed on Ravenclaw just because I felt like if I was thinking this hard about it's, it's probably a Ravenclaw thing. Then I found SHC and while I was pretty sure those were my two houses, I waffled between Ravenclaw Primary/Hufflepuff Secondary and Hufflepuff Primary/Ravenclaw Secondary for ages.
The quiz and I finally settled on, drumroll please: Burned Hufflepuff Primary with a Ravenclaw Primary Model/Burned Ravenclaw Secondary with a Hufflepuff Secondary Model. ...So that would explain the confusion, I guess. XD
I feel like it's not a bad place to stop for me, though. I do like the idea of constructed morality and a logical space! But no matter how much I try and logic my way out of it, I feel such a heavy weight of duty to people, especially my family or people who've been good to me, that I tend to place it way above any logical construct I try to adhere to. And I consistently feel bad that I cannot do more than I can, but my constant exhaustion doesn't allow it.
(Bast and I have had discussions of duty to help vs desire to help a few times before. I tend to view myself as having a duty to a lot of people, so even when I want to help, sometimes when I'm particularly exhausted there's a part of me that feels bitter at being obligated even if I really want to help. They, on the other hand, do not actually understand this feeling at all.
...To very little surprise when I think about it, Bast got Slytherin/Slytherin on the quiz.)
And with Secondary, well. I like learning! I like COLLECTION INFORMATION! I do not like going into any situation at all without a plan! I... have severe issues around having been a Gifted Child, and my likely-autism and likely-ADHD, and school, and all sorts of things, that make me feel inherently Not Smart Or Creative Or Clever Enough To Be A Ravenclaw. But I very much appreciate the inherent value of hard work and pressing your nose to the grindstone, and... I guess the best way I can put it is that I know instinctively that Work Smart is the best option, but since I feel incapable of reaching it, I default into Work Hard mode when I can swing into work at all instead.
(Wow a surprising amount of this speaks to my mental issues which... is not what I expected.)
I think I get pegged as those two a lot myself though, because I am very much not openly brave or ambitious. XD (Pottermore and a LOT of HP sorting quizzes pin me as a Slytherin even though there is no ambition or deception in me. I think I get Slytherin because I like water so much. And yes, I would love to live in the Slytherin common room/dorms, but uh... it does not suit me at all.) I can see how your combo might get mistaken for Gryffindor, I think -- it's something in the presentation of double-puff and ravenclaw I could see tripping that wire, though I can't put my finger on what.
Seriously though, I love this quiz and this system for taking in so many little details and subtleties? Like, stuff like this is always going to not quite account for the complexities of people, but if any of them came remotely close for me, it'd be SHC.
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Unsurprisingly, as someone who identifies as a Slytherin but models Hufflepuff, I get both sides of the discussion you and Bast have had! I grew up with a very Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw mother, who has occasionally mentioned being impressed by my ability to prioritize my own wellbeing over everyone else's, and I'm just like... this is the only way to survive, and I don't feel bad about it at all -- especially with where the world is, because I only have the energy to protect me and mine.
What 'mine' means can be quite broad, so long as I'm in a stable mental health place, because beyond the obvious family/found family it includes: Literally any of my kids (the students I teach), any organization I've chosen to become a part of and kept up with (my dojo, the church I work at), and other more typically Hufflepuff constructions. But they're very much constructions, and get built up in layers such that as I get overwhelmed I can cut back easily and without any concern -- and make sure that I maintain myself above all else, because it's impossible to do anything if I let myself break.
Duty is where the secondary shows for me, though. I'll do the work just because it matters, and nobody else is, and then be moderately surprised when I've somehow made myself integral to a certain aspect of an organization just by showing up and doing one or two minor-ish things consistently. And it's where my problem with capitalism really shows: I'm willing to do an astonishing amount of work, so long as it's meaningful to me or mine, but as soon as it stops having a point I just stop caring and don't see any reason to do more than necessary.
INFORMATION COLLECTION IS GREAT honestly I don't show the Ravenclaw model nearly as much post-college, but it's still there in the way I interact with fiction and gaming even if it isn't academic anymore. :) Gifted Kid Syndrome is such a thing, tho, for burning Ravenclaws out because perfection is impossible.
I get pegged as Gryffindor by friends because of the very Slytherin tendency towards directness when I'm comfortable, by acquaintances because of the Hufflepuff fronting of charming sociability, and also that I am an athlete in the midst of academics a lot of the time and jocks are Gryffindors according to the source text. :P But it's the one that I've always have the least feeling about, because I do loyalty in a Slytherin way and my warpaths are quiet build-ups of frustration and venting to friends right up until they aren't anymore and I say something because my friends are upset more than because I am -- which is Hufflepuff all the way through.
It's obviously not going to get everything, but because it's about tendencies and ideals as much as about practice, and actually has a lot of possibilities it comes a lot closer! And it's cloaked in fandom, which makes it more fun and also makes it a lot more obvious how it isn't meant to be taken super seriously, which I think makes it leaps and bounds ahead of typical psychology personality theories; they tend to have fewer options, a lot more pompousness, and a habit of going 'well everyone who gets X result is like Y'. Also this one says 'hey, this is what we think based on the questions; keep looking if you aren't sure that makes sense', which is nice.
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The only thing surprising might be that I'm an unburnt Puff, given all the stuff that's been going on personally and more broadly these days.
It always seems like there's an instinctual want to pull away from being sorted to Hufflepuff, no matter how accurately, but I think that's mostly because the source material spent basically zero time showing us Puffs and what they were doing, so they became Team NPC, and that's not great for a story where all the other hosts get characters and situations that highlight them.
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I absolutely understand that. I was looking through the responses and it honestly seems like a lot of people are feeling kinda burned these days, and it wasn't really all that much of a surprise to find out.
See, I never entirely got that instinct, but I've definitely seen it in action with others. For SHC in particular I think it's pulled so far from the canon that I'm not even sure it matters what is in the books -- it honestly feels more Harry Potter inspired than anything at this point, and really, I'm okay with that. XD
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There are a lot of people getting burned, because they're throwing both their primaries and secondaries at something that doesn't care about them and won't do anything unless they can amass great wealth or a juggernaut of people and force them to change their mind. The idea that ordinary people can make change is more and more a lie with each passing day, and I think that's causing a lot of people to burn on their Primaries and Secondaries.
I'm okay with SHC being inspired at this point. It's become, at least for me, what the Sorting system would start looking like if the author had given a lot of thought into how it works work, rather than just applying some convenient tropes to a boarding school narrative.
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I think the secondary is smack on. Not sure about the primary.
A burned Gryffindor still thinks it’s important to try to do the right thing. They just have some doubts, insecurities, or cynicism around the idea that anyone can know what “right” is. The world would be easier if they could trust their gut, but they know they can’t. They still strive to do what they can, and often build a constructed morality system (or adopt an external legal, philosophical, or religious code) in order to live as well as possible. But unlike a Ravenclaw Primary, who would be satisfied and righteous using this external system, a burned Gryffindor will always be disappointed and even guilty using this out-sourced moral system.
A Burned Hufflepuff Secondary might want to be reliable, hard-working, and trustworthy, but they feel like they are (or like people think they are) flaky, shaky, or flighty. Doing things steadily and well-- showing up-- is the right way to achieve their goals, but Burned Puffs know that's not going to work within their capabilities. So they take other paths and use other tools-- maybe a Gryffindor's bluntness, a Slytherin's flexibility, or a Ravenclaw's collection of skills and tools.
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