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fullupwithfire) wrote2019-12-20 09:44 am
fullupwithfire) wrote2019-12-20 09:44 am
Light is returning, even though this is the darkest hour
Blessed Yule and a pleasant Solstice, everyone!
EDIT: Or is it? I'm going to be entirely honestly I keep looking this up and not being sure if it's tonight or tomorrow? I think my mother was celebrating tonight, I'm very confused, if someone smarter than me knows the answer I will take it.
I had... a really bad couple of days there. I really thought I was going back to the place I was in for a good part of last month, because that's exactly how it felt.
But I laid down and slept for a couple of hours (I slept weird and on and off all day yesterday) and... I don't know what happened, but I woke up thinking oh, the holiday's today, I should do things, and I feel... good? I feel okay, at least. The storm still feels like it could be brewing somewhere, but it's not here right now, and I don't feel even like I'm ignoring it. It just feels paused. I don't even feel the guilt for not going to my mother's that I had last night.
I have no idea what happened. It's like the exact flip of Samhain, where I was real excited for the whole week leading up and then crashed hard the night before and could do exactly none of it. But I'll take it. God, I'll take it.
Bast is feeling pretty sick as of yesterday, so things will likely be pretty low-key today, but I do have hopes of doing some holiday things. So I have so far made a playlist, started bread dough, and made a batch of peppermint cookie dough. I figured out what I was doing wrong with my cookies that they were super liquidy, so now I just need to see if these are too tough, and also if they actually taste like peppermint at all once they're cooked.
Plans for today include making two more kinds of cookies, making a meatloaf, getting my work done, getting bread in the oven around 4 or 5 am, and hopefully getting a couple hours sleep before the sun goes down so I can do an all-night vigil. Possibly doing some decorating stuff with roommate, who's been making stuff and got some of her things out of storage.
We will see how it goes and how long this lasts.
EDIT: Or is it? I'm going to be entirely honestly I keep looking this up and not being sure if it's tonight or tomorrow? I think my mother was celebrating tonight, I'm very confused, if someone smarter than me knows the answer I will take it.
I had... a really bad couple of days there. I really thought I was going back to the place I was in for a good part of last month, because that's exactly how it felt.
But I laid down and slept for a couple of hours (I slept weird and on and off all day yesterday) and... I don't know what happened, but I woke up thinking oh, the holiday's today, I should do things, and I feel... good? I feel okay, at least. The storm still feels like it could be brewing somewhere, but it's not here right now, and I don't feel even like I'm ignoring it. It just feels paused. I don't even feel the guilt for not going to my mother's that I had last night.
I have no idea what happened. It's like the exact flip of Samhain, where I was real excited for the whole week leading up and then crashed hard the night before and could do exactly none of it. But I'll take it. God, I'll take it.
Bast is feeling pretty sick as of yesterday, so things will likely be pretty low-key today, but I do have hopes of doing some holiday things. So I have so far made a playlist, started bread dough, and made a batch of peppermint cookie dough. I figured out what I was doing wrong with my cookies that they were super liquidy, so now I just need to see if these are too tough, and also if they actually taste like peppermint at all once they're cooked.
Plans for today include making two more kinds of cookies, making a meatloaf, getting my work done, getting bread in the oven around 4 or 5 am, and hopefully getting a couple hours sleep before the sun goes down so I can do an all-night vigil. Possibly doing some decorating stuff with roommate, who's been making stuff and got some of her things out of storage.
We will see how it goes and how long this lasts.